A New Lease

I'm sitting here at Dunkin Donuts drinking an iced coffee, learning all about the Code of Ethics and Standards of Practice of the National Association of Realtors, when my roommate walks in. She asked what I was doing here and I said, "Well my makeup looked too good today to just sit at the house," and she replied, "Seriously? You need to blog about this stuff." :)

That was just to kick I needed to get on here and write something! So you can all thank Shannon. :) True story.

I know I said that I was going to be more active on here but I've really been trying to decide what the heck to write about! This blog used to be about just random stuff between recipes, losing weight, running, etc. Then Daniel died and all of the response I got from CaringBridge made me re-evaluate that. (Good responses but just a new audience!)

Is it okay to mix my random topics of summer plans and the pain of someone missing on Mother's Day?

Is it okay to one day write about the death of someone too young and then the next about the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever made?

I think it is. So that's what I'm going to do. I mean, isn't that what LIFE is? Good, bad, ugly, and everything in between?

Right now, I can't help but think about how BLESSED I am. People say that all the time and sometimes they believe it, sometimes they are saying it in HOPES of believing it, but today, I mean it.

• I've completed all of my real estate requirements and I'm finally able to see a career path emerging. (However, please pray my FBI Background Check comes back in a hurry so that I can show houses and meet with clients by myself!)

• I'm part of a team that really love their jobs and what they do. Every Friday they have a devotional time as a company and today the topic was about happiness! We watched this video and people were singing and dancing along. Everyone is encouraged to help each other and brag on others and just the whole atmosphere is a positive one. It's refreshing to be somewhere that people LOVE their jobs, LOVE their coworkers, and promote a sense of teamwork even through the tedious times. True leadership is valued there and THAT is INVALUABLE.

• I have expanded my Younique team and found a passion for a company that I believe in and love. I never thought I would be one to participate in Networking Sales, but when you love a product like I do, you can't help but be passionate about it. (Check it out here!) 

• When I worked at the Chamber of Commerce back in grad school, I loved being part of the community. I feel like I am getting back to that and I have recently joined the Young Professionals of Murray and the Murray Board of Realtors. I'm PUMPED to not just attend but to dive in head first and really be involved. 

4 months ago on the day I was fired, I thought that my world was crashing down. but now I clearly see that it was just the beginning... the beginning of new and wonderful things - Time with my brother and family I never would of had otherwise; a new career that's fulfilling and FUN; and as cheesy as this sounds, a new lease on life.

Deuces,

Kimberly

Fired... the other OTHER f-bomb... and what to do when you're friend finds themselves kicked to the curb

In addition to the ACTUAL F-word, there are two other words I consider to be F-Bombs... Funeral and Fired. Both of them pretty much suck and if you think about it, it really does feel like a bomb has gone off when you're entrenched in such events. 

About a year or so ago, one of my best friends was fired from her job. At the time, I had no idea how she felt. I had no idea what to say or what to do and I specifically remember going to Google and typing "What to do when your friend is fired?" 

Guess what...

NOTTA. I couldn't find anything!

Seriously internet. I thought you had the answer for everything! Get it together.

Anyways, I was clueless, so I stuck to what I knew (which sounded very similar to what you say when your friend is dumped):

"Screw em'!"

"You don't need em'!"

"They don't DESERVE you!"

"Something better will come along!"

However, now, I have been there, done that "and got the tshirt" (as my dad would say... Do they make tshirts that say "MEMBER OF THE 'I'VE BEEN FIRED CLUB'"? Probably not.)

Moving on. 

I know exactly how it feels to be fired and it's embarrassing and mortifying and liberating all at the same time.

If there is anything I want to be able to do, it is to share my experiences with others in hopes that they know I can empathize. Because guess who the first person was that I called when I got fired- My friend who had been there before. (Of course by first I mean after my dad, and then my mom, and then actually my pastor, but she was the first friend of my friends that I called, so that counts!)

So here it is:

5 Do's and Don't's For When Your Friend Gets Axed

1) GO TO THEM, SUPPLY THE BEER/WINE/SHOTS/CHOCOLATE/WHATEVER-INDULGENCE-OF-CHOICE, AND BE PREPARED TO LISTEN. 

No, your friend does not want to go out. No, your friend does not want to be seen in public right now and they definitely do NOT want to awkwardly run into someone that might have just fired them. I personally looked like I had been attacked by bees or punched in the face. My eyes were red and swollen from all the ugly crying. I was A MESS. Your friend wants to sit in THEIR home on THEIR couch and go on and on about what BS it all is. And your job is to keep the drinks available and an open ear. Nod your head in agreement. Say, "That IS ridiculous," no matter how much you agree or disagree with them. 

2) ASSUME THAT ALL FUTURE TRAVEL PLANS OR PLANS THAT REQUIRE MONEY ARE OFF UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

100% transparency here people. I had some money saved up, not a lot (definitely not my recommended 3-6 month fully funded emergency fund according to the big D.R.), but some.  And yes, I was that person that walked into the Unemployment Office with my Coach purse and my iPhone in my hand, but that didn't mean I wasn't worried about my sudden lack of cash flow. Thankfully, I've never been one to experience panic attacks, but as I was picking up a few things (MINIMAL THINGS!) from Kroger a few days after getting the boot, I felt this tightening in my chest and then shortness of breath and then HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING!? The walls seriously felt like they were closing in on me. I was only spending $12.00 but that was $12.00 I might need for my electric bill! or for my mortgage! I was able to get out of there before I went into full on cray cray mode, but shew. That was a close one. 

I tell you all of that to say, if I am freaking out about $12.00, how much do you think I am freaking out about that trip I had planned to New Jersey to see my friend, or that Bachelorette party this summer or even going to the movies next week? The last thing I want to do is be a flake so don't put your friend in a position that they will feel that way. Do your friend a solid and go ahead and say, "I know that we had this awesome, amazing, ridiculously good time planned, but seriously, don't worry about it!" AND BE GENUINE ABOUT IT. Your friend wants to be there just as much as you want them there. Also, just because they get a job fairly quickly, still cut them some slack. I was fired without any severance or anything so yeah, my savings has taken a hit and let me tell you now, at least for me, Unemployment really didn't come close to what I was making before AND it took a good 6 weeks to even get approved. That's 6 weeks worth of bills, rent/mortgage, groceries, etc. that's coming from my account without any money going back in. Sometimes being an adult SUCKS.

3. DON'T ASK THEM "SO WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?" 

Your friend will hear that from everyone else. EV-REY-ONE. Just don't do it. If you are a close enough friend, I'm sure they will let you know as soon as they've got that figured out. Until then, just chill. As much as you want to know what they are going to do, they want to know that for themselves times 100.

4. DON'T FLOOD THEIR INBOX WITH JOB POSTINGS UNLESS YOU HAVE THE LOW-DOW FOR THAT COMPANY.

First of all, I guarantee you that they've already seen it by scouring the internet looking at job postings in the crazy amount of free time they find themselves with. Second of all, I'm a firm believer that for most places these days, it's not what you know but WHO you know that will get your foot in the door. Unless you know someone that works there who can mention their name to the right person to get their resume out of the sea of applicants, once again, just keep it to yourself if it's already publiclly posted. Now, if you hear from a friend that they know of a friend of a friend who is looking for someone to fill a position, then by all means, pass that info along! But seriously. They've checked indeed.com 1001 times today.

Number 5 is more for those that were not just friends with that person, but also coworkers.

5. CONTACT THEM!

I worked at my job for close to 4 years. That's 4 years of seeing people day in and day out and spending more time with them than I did my own family and friends. I was amazed and surprised by the people I heard from and the people I didn't. And I was also hurt. Shoot them a text and just say, "Man this sucks. Please let me know if you need anything," or "Don't know what happened, but gosh I'll miss you around here!" And if you were really close with that person, call them! Yeah, it might be uncomfortable and you might not know what to say, but it was really nice to hear from people that I spent so much time with and to know that they actually DID care about ME as a person, not just ME as a coworker. (Side note: when my brother died, a few of my co-workers did text me to express their condolences and some of them went in together to get me some great gifts and for that I am extremely grateful!)

So there it is. I've been on both sides, the friend of a friend getting fired and the friend getting fired and maybe what I've gone through will help someone else get through it, too. All in all, remember, you're their friend, not their mom or dad or accountant or job recruiter. You're their friend. Be one. And be a good one. 

If all else fails, send this to them as a gift and call it a day. 

Deuces.

Kimberly

PS, Today is World Autism Awareness Day. Head over to www.autismspeaks.org to learn more and Light It Up Blue!

Jacked this shirt out of Daniel's closet when going through his stuff and I'm so glad I did! 

 

Summer Bucket List

What a perfect time for a Summer Bucket List Linkup. 

Obviously, for some of these I'll need some help. I mean, who wants to day drink by the pool by themselves?

What's on your list?

If I Won the Lottery...

It's funny that Beth over at Hang On, Honey is doing a link up about this very topic because my friend Meagan and I were just talking about this subject.
I honestly feel like if I won the lottery, I wouldn't change my standard of living very much. I probably wouldn't go move to New York or buy and island or anything like that. If I won the lottery, the first 10 things I would do are as follows:
1) Tithe. Yup, 10% would go to my church because really, when you win 632 kazillion dollars, what's 10%? Plus, I know my church. I can't even imagine what awesome things they would do with that money!
2) Pay off my house. I like my house, so why move? 
3) Update my house. Renovate the kitchen, the bathrooms, the flooring, add on a huge deck or screened-in porch, convert my carport to a garage, and on and on and on.
4) Buy a new car, but probably not a Bentley or anything like that. An Acura or Lexus SUV would do just fine.
5) Adopt a kid, because damn that's expensive... and probably pay for my friends' adoption too, because I really just want them to have a kid.
6) Pay off my parents' house and pay them back for my college.
7) Buy my brother a house and pay for the rest of his college.
8) Pay for all of my friends to go on an AMAZING vacation. 
9) Wait until Christmas and go to WalMart and just give crazy amounts of money away and pay for people's purchases and all that. How much fun would that be?!
10) Pay Dolvett to be my personal trainer.
No, they aren't really fun, but it is fun to think about! What would you do if you won the lottery?

ap·pre·ci·ate

I'm not a great writer. I'm not a profound thinker or a deep conversationalist. I mean, hell, Jersey Shore and Teen Mom 2 are two of my favorite shows. (CABS AH HEEYA!) Don't judge me.

Single at 27 in the south is hard. If you're not married by the time you're 21, then there has GOT to be something wrong with you...

Gosh I love Snooki

There have been many Friday and Saturday nights I sat at home with my friends named Self Pity and Boredom. Let me tell you, they aren't much fun. When you are the last woman standing (as I've stated before) out of all my really close friends, it's hard not to feel sorry for yourself and ask "why not me?" and "what's wrong with me?" and "Do I smell bad?"

But then I saw this...

This time of my life is like no other time I will have. I have more freedom and independence than I will EVER have again. And I haven't taken advantage of that to the fullest potential.

Do I want to get married? Yes. Do I want to have kids? Yes. But why should that desire impede my ability to live in THIS moment?

So I started a list (anyone that knows me knows how much I LOVE lists) of things I can do now as a single 27 year old... prepare to get jealous married friends with kids...

• In the morning, I am responsible just just myself. No kids, no husband. Just me. That means, I can do my hair EVERYDAY. More than half the time I sport a big ol' messy bun on my head, but that's by choice. Mom's talk about how they never have time to wash their hair. Well sucks for you. I can.
• FULL CONTROL OF THE REMOTE. If I want to watch Lifetime Movie Network or The Bachelorette, I can. And there is no one there to complain about it. The DVR is full of MY shows.
• Sleep. That's right, no waking up in the middle of the night for some crying kid. No sharing the bed with a covers hog. I can sleep in the middle of the bed, diagonal in the bed, however the heck I want to. Which brings me to my next point...
• If I want my dogs to sleep in the bed with me, they can. 
• I can spend my money however I want. Granted, I try to be responsible with that, but if I want to save it for a vacay, I can. If I want to spend it on new jeans, I can. It's my decision.
• If I want to travel, I can pick up and go. No worrying about coordinating other schedules or finding a babysitter or kid friendly activities.
• I can volunteer without feeling like I need to spend more time at home.
• I can start started a book club.
• I can go see whatever movie I want. Even if it is by myself. Not sure you have the confidence to pull it off? Check out this post.
• I can sing around the house as loud as I want to without worrying anyone is going to hear me.
• If I don't want to do the dishes one night, I don't have to. Granted they will be waiting for me the next night, but still. If I don't want to do them, I don't have to. My mess is MY mess... no one else's.
• I can buy whatever brand of toilet paper I want to.
• I can pee by myself. So many friends talk about how they can't even pee by themselves now that they have kids. I APPRECIATE THE PRIVACY.
• If I want to paint my laundry room coral, I can. And I'm going to... No really, I've already bought the paint.
• If I want to get a new job or move to a new city, I can without consulting anyone else.
• I can spend hours at the gym or running or whatever I want without feeling guilty for not spending time with someone else.
• I can go on dates. Or I can say no to dates. 
• I can cook whatever I want. If I want cereal for dinner, I can. If I want cake for dinner, I can.
• All the closets in the house are mine. And yes, 3 out of the 4 closets in my house are full of MY clothes.
• I can do whatever I want with my spare rooms. So one of them is a craft room. Might as well take advantage of that while I can. I seriously don't need 2 guest rooms. 
• I can listen to my music at home as loud as I want and if I want to dance around, I can without feeling like an idiot.
• If I want to hold conversations with my dogs, I can. ... Not saying I do that or anything ...
• There is nothing I find more annoying than hearing "Let me check with my husband..." when I ask someone if they want to do something. I mean, I GET IT. I understand. I REALLY do. And I'll probably do that too when I get married, but dang it, I can make all my own decisions right now and just want everyone else to too. I think the biggest part of this line that gets me is that usually it's not followed up on. Fine, go ask your hubby if he can survive dinner by himself, but then ANSWER ME! I really don't want to have to ask again. I mean, if you don't want to do something, just tell me. I'd rather get a flat "no" than a "I don't know, let me check." and then no follow through. [end rant]
• The thermostat is completely mine.
• All of the food that is in my house is my decision.
• I still have the opportunity to become who I want to be, change what I want to change, see what I want to see, go where I want to go, and dream what I want to dream.

Do I sound selfish? Probably so. Is that my point? Not at all. 

My point is to make you stop and appreciate the season of your life that you are living RIGHT NOW. Whatever that may be. It's taken me 27 years to get to that point, but I think I'm finally there.

What is it about your life that you appreciate the most?